Characters:
Scott: ANNOUNCER
Hannah: ENGINEER
Ryan: ELDERLY PERSON
Owen: ASSISTANT
(Scene: ELDERLY PERSON walking with
TYPICAL CANE, drops KEYS on floor)
ELDERLY PERSON: Oh no, my keys!
(Elderly person struggles to pick
up keys while maintaining downward pressure on cane; fails. Falling optional.)
ASSISTANT: I know! What if you had
a grabber?
(ASSISTANT hands ELDERLY PERSON a
TYPICAL GRABBER, ELDERLY PERSON again attempts to retrieve the keys.)
(ELDERLY PERSON hooks KEYS with
TYPICAL GRABBER, remembering to continue supporting weight with TYPICAL CANE.
ELDERLY PERSON has difficulty maneuvering TYPICAL CANE to bring the KEYS within
reach, and is unable to grasp KEYS without losing hold of TYPICAL CANE and
falling.)
ASSISTANT: Oh dear.
(ASSISTANT and ELDERLY PERSON limp
away. ENGINEER enters.)
ENGINEER: Conventional grabbers are
designed to be used by younger people, who have free use of both their hands.
Seniors, however, often need support when walking or standing and are unable to
use both hands to operate a grabber due to balance issues. The Robohawks Elbonic
Claw can be operated with only one hand, while continuing to support the weight
of the user.
ANNOUNCER: (holding MICROPHONE)
Let’s try this again.
(ENGINEER hands ELBONIC CLAW to
ASSISTANT, who helps ELDERLY PERSON switch canes.)
(ELDERLY PERSON again attempts to
retrieve the keys, shielded behind TV MAGIC sign..)
ENGINEER: The unique design of the
Elbonic Claw means that Seniors with balance or mobility issues will still be
able to operate it without difficulty.
ELDERLY PERSON: (holds up KEYS)
Thank you Robohawks!
ANNOUNCER: The Elbonic Claw is not
designed for use as a hearing aid, flashlight, or pogo stick. Attempts to use
it as such may result in serious harm, injury, death and/or ridicule by your
neighbors. Cane size and color may vary according to individual preference.
Model shown here is “Ice-pack Blue”. Other colors include but are not limited
to: “8-Track Black”, “Pac-Man Yellow”, and “Pong-Paddle White”. Always remember
to consult a doctor before attempting to Tango with your Elbonic Claw. No
elderly people were harmed in the making of this skit.